First 4 months of 2012

Well...Things have gone crazy in my life the last 4 months...hence why I haven't posted since like New Years. I passed my tax exam back in December of 2011, so from January until April, I worked for H&R Block out of Gibson on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Saturdays. I did that AFTER I got off work from Fairview Haven at 2, so some days I was doing 12-14 hours of work. On top of doing taxes, I was also taking classes for my CNA license. I was taking classes on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so all-in-all, I had no life for the last 4 months. Well, I am now done with taxes until November, and as of this past Thursday, I have completed my CNA class and I passed with flying colors. With the last year being up in the air for my life, I have seemed to acquire 2 new licenses and started to get my life back on track. Has it been a struggle...oh hell yes!!! But, I'm a very determined person. Things might knock me down for a while, but I have always learned to bounce back up.  With taking all these classes as well as having 2 jobs, I also was more or less forced into moving this past January too. So, as you can see, my life was very hectic for a long time! LOL!

I must say...I have some of the greatest friends in the world who have stood behind me and given me unconditional support as I pieced my life back together and tried to improve my life for me. First and foremost...Amanda. I know I was probably stressed, tired, angry, and many other emotions at times, but she stood beside me like only best friends know how.  I think she dealt with me pretty well. She encouraged me and CONSTANTLY reminded me that it would be over come the end of April! Then there's Niki...whenever I needed to call someone to just talk to or vent to, she is always there. She was always wishing me good luck when I was stressing over class and just being crazy. She'd always tell me to take a deep breathe...well if you know me, that is easier said than done, but it worked. These 2 are truly rocks in my life!!! I had many co-workers encouraging me and telling me that I was going to do awesome as well and told me I would be a great CNA...hence why I took the class to get my license. It is always nice having people believe in you and stand behind you.

Other than that...not much has happened in my life. Obviously, there wasn't much time outside of the 2 jobs and class to have much happen! LOL! There is no new guy so far...have I had interests, of course! I'm human! lol! But, we shall see what the next couple of months bring. Until then...

New Year, New Beginnings

It is now 2012...I've looked forward to it being a new year for some time now. 2011 was not the best year for me. To losing my job at Project Oz to many other heart aches throughout the year. Many people always say..."just wait, next year will be better." For me, I truly have to believe that this year will be better than last year!!! I know this year, I am in a wedding, so the next 8-9 months will consist of doing lots of wedding planning with Niki. Plus, my love of racing is still in full effect!

The year (even though it has been 2 days) started off with many adventures. I'm just thankful that I got to kick off the new year with some great friends...especially my best friend Amanda. I can definitely say this was one of the more interesting New Years in a LONG time! LOL!

For New Years this year, I'm saying that I am going to do one good dead a day for someone else. 
That is my goal that I set for myself. Most people say...oh, I'm going to lose weight, or I'm going to stop smoking. Those are just too common for me. Sure, I plan to lose weight this year. However, I wanted to do something different. So, that is my plan as of right now. I also plan to spend more time with friends. The last couple of months, I've been caught up in many things, so I'm going to try to make more time and more of an effort. Sure, they need to make an effort too, but so do I.

I still have no idea where life is going to take me this year, but I'm crossing my fingers and praying that something good comes along soon!

Until next time...

Friends

In my life, I've came across many friends. Those friends I talk about are those that are lasting friends, childhood friends, recent friends, and those friends who have made an impact on my life in some way, shape, or form. When you are growing up, you always say "we will be friends forever," and with some friends, that may be true. I've had one friend from when we were kids that I've stayed friends with for 27 years and that's Jess Knauer Shafer. Jess and I met when we were babies (our mom's were friends) and have continued that bond. Paige is also another one of those friends I've known all my life. Our parents grew up together, so it is just natural that we would ALWAYS be around each other as well as there for the other person. There are friends that you meet along the way through your grade school, junior high, and high school days. One I can think of is Matt Cavanagh. Matt and I met in 6th grade when the Forrest kids had to go to school in Chatsworth. Matt and I became friends and have remained that. Many people do not understand our friendship, but that doesn't matter. They don't have to!!! Matt and I don't have to talk every day to know that both of us are here for each other. There's also another person I want to mention here...I've known this person for many years, but back in the summer of Junior High days, Jason Maurer and I got to know each other as he was working for the town and I was being a normal teenager. lol! I never thought in a million years that now, at the age of 28, Jason and I would still be friends and as close as we are. I would say that just in the last year, we have made our friendship stronger and we talk quite a bit once again!!! (and Sam Bertram and I are not riding our bikes around town to find him so we can talk to him...lol! I know Jason will get a kick out of that one and will understand that statement!!!) Then, there's the friends you've met along the way after you graduate high school. I have many that come to mind here. My 2nd family: Mama Wendy, Mike, Laura, Cody, Travis, Lisa, Dean, Cale, and Eggy. I met them through Laura (when Laura and I worked at Donnelley's together) and then I met the rest of the family and mama Wendy became like my 2nd mom. Then, there's Chelsey Stacy. We met through Donnelley's too. She thought I was crazy obnoxious when she first met me and was kinda weirded out by me. But, she came from 3rd shift to 1st shift and we've been friends ever since! Oh Amanda...Amanda and I have known each other for many years, but never really knew each other til' we crossed paths when we were in college. I don't know what I would do without her. She's my best friend and sister in every way that counts!!!! Then there's Niki. Niki came into my life about 5-6 years back, but then she didn't really see me for me cause I was around my crazy cousin Connie (whom her and I do NOT speak!!!) But, now that Jeb and Niki got together a year and a half ago, Niki and I are now inseparable. I don't know what I would do without her either. She's just like me in many ways, yet we are so different too! There are many other friends: Kristen, Jimmy, Jamie, Brandon Kara, etc...each of these people came into my life for a different purpose and meaning!

It's never the length of time you know someone, but the impact they have and can have on your life"   

This is a quote I life by. I truly believe that each person comes into your life with a meaning. You may not know at first what the reason is for a person coming into your life, but just cherish the time and reason they are there. 

 There are other reasons a person comes into your life as well. This past summer, I learned an important lesson in friendship. You should never fully trust someone right away even if you have a good feeling. If someone who you are best friends with tells you that they have a bad feeling or that a person rubs them the wrong way (talking about a new friend), then you should probably listen to their advice. I did not listen to her advice this past summer and in August, I got burned by a group of people who I thought were my friends. Boy was I mistaken. This group talks about being a family and having each other's backs...well I'm not sure they really know what all that means. A family does NOT attack someone when it is like 10 against 1...a family sits down and talks about the problem and then works to find a solution. A family doesn't always trust what one person says without hearing the other person's side. This group for the last year talked about how they hated drama, yet the whole group is centered around drama!!! The have also talked about how people were mad at them and starting shit/drama, yet they do the same thing all the time! 

 With that being said, I am now knowing who my true friends are and I'm embracing each and every one of them!!! They mean something to my life and I will NEVER forget why and how they came into my life!!!  

Changes

Many changes are taking place right now. Well for one, I should talk about the biggest chance since I talked about it in my last post. Matt and I are no longer together. I do not want to bad mouth him because that's not the person I am or want to be. The only thing I will say is that he needs to get his priorities straight and learn to show a little common courtesy to the one he dates and not ignore them. Am I looking for something right now, sure. I am always looking. Do I want a relationship right now? I'm going to say no, but I will not let an opportunity pass if one arises though. I will always keep my options open. I Just know that I am better than what I just went through and I deserved to be treated better and with a lot more respect.

I'm working out at Fairview Haven Nursing Home full time right now. It's nice not having to drive too far to get to work...that's for sure!!! I'm also going to be doing taxes in Fairbury at H&R Block from January til' April too, so that is definitely something new too.

I have no idea where life is going to take me next. I know that I will keep my eyes and options open. I think the Lord everyday for those people who stand behind me no matter the decision...good or bad!!! Amanda, I just want to say that I'm sorry for not listening to you sooner about letting him go. You were right (yes, I know I said it and it is a miracle)!!! 

Continued Changes

Well to continue on from my last post, racing is in my blood and in my life. I love my racing family!!! This year, that took on a new meaning. I was with a group, but they do not know what the meaning of friendship, family, and compassion is. I know who my true racing families are: Friedman's, Stirewalt/Gibson, Burger's, Curl's, Ledford's, Digg's, Bull's, and I'm sure there's a couple more, but my brain doesn't wanna work this morning. I've been around my Friedman race team for over 7 years now, so they are stuck with me...lol! Stirewalt's are the same way (Wendy, Mike, Cody, Laura, Cale(he's adopted...lol)). Mama Wendy has become like my 2nd mom. My dad and mama Wendy work together, so he keeps tabs on me with her that way. But, regardless, I wouldn't trade my 2nd mom for the life of me! She tells me how it is whether it is what I want to hear or not. Mike's daughter Laura is how I got to know the family. Laura and I used to work together. One day, she told me she raced at Fairbury, and then of course I had to go watch!!! LOL! And been around them ever since and that was back in 2004. Burger, Curl, Ledford, and the Bull race teams have just came into my life in the last 2 years, but I wouldn't trade them for anything!!!!

It just so happens that I met my boyfriend through Stirewalt/Gibson race team. Matt and Cody happen to be like Cody and I are: "siblings." Cody is like my little brother. Well, Matt and I hit it off really well when we met and last week, Matt and I decided we wanted to try a relationship and I am so glad we did. He's amazing. Granted, it is early in the relationship obviously, but there's already a pretty strong connection there. It is an awesome feeling having him in my life, so see many future blogs about him to come!!!!

New journey

I am new to this whole blogging thing, but I think I will actually enjoy it! I have now started a new journey in my life or new chapter I should say. With that being said, I feel I have new thoughts, new outlooks, new perspectives on life to go along with some of the life changes I have made. I'm not one to get down very easy, but when I do...it may take me a while to get back out of that slump. But, I am working on making things better but like all things...it will take time!

Racing season for me is now over. Boy, did it go too quick. I look forward to April every year!!! Some (or I should say quite a few) do not understand how much racing means to my life. I was raised around it from when my uncle and my dad used to race back in the 80's to now where I have many friends who race and I support each week at the tracks. I love going out to the track in Fairbury with great entertainment and great friends with dirt flying in the air and a cold drink in my hand. If you love racing like I do, then you understand what I'm saying here. 

I have had many people come in and out of my life in the last couple of months. I have learned what the true meaning of friendship really is as well as those people who will stand beside you and won't stab in the back or twist your words around to better themselves. I will be civil to people I do not like to avoid the drama and the scene. Just because I am civil...it does not mean that I like you though. I have no problem telling people if I have a problem with them because that is me being real and being true to myself. I have some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for! Amanda definitely will be named in this first post. We lived together for 2 years down at college (EIU) and we are together pretty much every weekend since we moved back to the area from college. She has seriously been a rock in my life for the last 5+ years and I don't know what I would do without her. She definitely keeps me grounded (and if you know me, you know she does it quite well...lol)! We are more like sisters!!! We can talk to each other without even saying a word (which many people have told us blows their mind!) Then, there's friends of mine like Jess, Chelsey, Kristen, Kara, Matt, Will, etc. who I do not see very often (which I do NOT like), but I know they are always will be there if I need them! Many of these people have stood by me through many situations and have been absolutely amazing!!! Then, there's Paige. She is my family in every way that counts! With these many changes in my life...she has been there for me through so much and helped in more ways than she probably even knows! I would be lost without her (and Kash)!!! She knows me too well and she stands up for what she believes in. When Paige and I are together, Amanda usually has her hands full keeping us both grounded...lol!! Then, there's Niki. Niki came into my life in the best possible moment. Granted, I've been around Niki with racing (her brother T.D. races the 32B modified) for about 4 or so years, but never crossed paths that much until she started dating Jeb a year ago this past July. Ever since last year in June (or so), Niki and I started getting to know each other and talked quite frequently. I think my birthday last year is what broke the mold though. Niki was very nervous coming out in Fairbury, being around new people, and meeting my parents for the first time (which if  you know my parents...they love everyone). Well, she had a blast that night and she made sure my birthday was memorable (or lack there of!!!) Ever since, she's been there for me for an open ear, a shoulder to cry on, advice, and an amazing friend/sister! Her and I are both very opinionated and we both respect each other for that! She knows I am always there for her as well as she is always there for me! There are other people who have came full force into my life this year (whether I have known them before or not). Some of those people (to only name a few) are Chrissy, Jay, Bridget, Jeff, Amanda O, Mike, Dustin, Lindsey, Matt, Darin, Joe, etc. These people are some people who have changed my life in ways that they will never probably fully know. They have been amazing people who have given me support and love in ways they may not have even realized, but I will not forget it! Thank you for that!!! I am sure there's many more, but my mind has stopped with this idea. 

Then there's my family! My parent's have been absolutely amazing as well as supportive the last 7 months (like they have been my whole life)!!! They are the most amazing, loving, and awesome parents anyone could ask for. If you know my parents, I'm sure you will agree that they are pretty cool. I hope I can find a husband and have a lasting relationship like they have some day (They have been married for 40 years this past May!!!!) I also have 2 amazing brothers who I know I can call at anytime of the day/night and know they will be there. They would come running full force if I needed them too. I'm lucky enough to say that I get along with my siblings and know they will be there for me. We are like any other siblings though...we have had our share of fights and misunderstandings, but we know we are there for each other!!! I also have an awesome sister-in-law and 3 amazing nieces who I love dearly and wish they lived closer so that I could see them more often!! They are my world! I have many aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I am lucky enough to say that I still have 3 grandparents who are with us still today.